Over the next two days, I used the drops as instructed and the pain seemed to subside somewhat. But last night (or, really, early this morning), I woke up with pretty sharp pains. I also had a bit of a sore throat, which now pointed in the direction of an alternative theory, a favorite of my friend Alice, that I have some kind of sinus infection. But the doctor quickly doused that theory. The particular part of my ear where the inflammation was is not really connected to the sinus passages, my inner ear and ear drum are just fine. He said my sinuses look normal and, in any case, I don't have any pain in the classic sinus areas. In addition, the slight redness and inflammation he'd seen in the outer ear two days ago was diminished even though the pain wasn't.
So now we move on from a simple antibiotic to something more time consuming and lifestyle-changing. The doctor is referring me to sleep pulmonary specialists so that we can work on the sleep apnea and wants me to go to the dentist to get a night guard to take the pressure off my jaws.
Years ago, when we took Peter to the Stanford Sleep Disorders Clinic to be tested for sleep apnea, the doctors suggested to Noriko that I should be tested for apnea as well (Peter, it turned out, had it and ended up getting surgery). Our insurance company decided it didn't want to send me to the Stanford clinic as well, so they hooked me up with a home sleep apnea test kit. As far as I can recall, it involved a strap I had to keep tight around my middle and some monitor attached thereto (and perhaps tucked between the strap and my body). I was then to sleep with this strap and the machine tightly in place. Needless to say, I unconsciously loosened the whole contraption during the night, which led to a diagnosis of "no apnea." "No apnea" means no re-testing, so that was that. But now it looks like we should try this again.
Sometime before the sleep apnea thing, I had also gotten a mouth guard from my dentist. It was carefully fitted to my gum in a laborious process of molding warm rubber/plastic to my teeth and gums. But I found that the mouthpiece I eventually tried at home made it even harder to sleep. Anticipating that, as a teeth grinder, I would be breathing through my nose, the mouth guard gave me just three or four small holes to draw air through my mouth. But the size of the thing also meant that my face was stretched somewhat, which actually narrowed my nasal passages. In other words, breathing through my nose was harder. After three or four nights with the mouth guard, I frankly gave up.
So now I am back to where I was several years ago. I've got a number of sleep problems (regardless of whether or not they are actually related to the current ear pain). I need to take care of them and the way to get there appears to be to go back to these contraptions that gave me so much trouble before.
But I also need to develop new habits. Most basically, I need to stop what I'm doing at night and go to bed earlier. I've developed another bad habit in the past several years. Finding that I was going to bed exhausted, but not mentally ready to sleep yet, I had a choice of reading a book or maybe watching a little video on a portable device (we don't have a tv in the bedroom). I found it hard to read, because, being so exhausted, I would read a paragraph or two and then fall asleep. The next night when I picked up the book again, I'd not remember where I was and start reading again and, again, make it only through a couple of paragraphs. In short, I couldn't make any headway with a book in bed. So I stopped reading in bed and started watching video as a way of mentally making the transition. The problem is I find it much easier to stay awake during a video of something like a 30 minute tv show. Then, at the end of the show, I often want to watch another one (Arrested Development has been a consistent favorite). So I'll watch another one and sometimes a third. So, having gone to bed exhausted, I've managed to delay sleep by an hour or more. Then, during that hour I'll have an extra glass of wine and maybe another snack. The result is less sleep, more calories and no reading. Just bad habits all around.
I am 47 years old today and while I still feel quite young, I do have to admit that I'm not objectively young anymore (even as I'm not old yet either). I now have to take care of my health at a level of consciousness that I never did as a healthy young guy. I've spent some time in the last year trying to develop new habits of spending, eating and exercising that would improve my financial and physical health. But the other day, I was thinking about how underneath to all of those changes—changes that I'm still working on—was a much more fundamental change I needed to make. I need to sleep more and better. If I sleep more and better, I'll have energy for exercising and cooking a good meal, I'll have greater clarity of mind for the work I have to do (which is, after all, mostly thinking) and for decisions I make about all kinds of things. But fixing my sleep habits and problems strikes me as much, much more difficult than learning to eat better or exercise regularly (both of which are pleasant). This will involve changing even more ingrained habits. I am going to go back to books, but now instead of looking at the books as something I want to read, I'll look at them as soporifics. The point isn't to read the book, but to change my mental condition so I can sleep. Perhaps, eventually, the desire to actually get through a novel will get me into bed even earlier, which, of course, would be a very good thing. But for the moment, falling asleep needs to be the higher priority.
Just about two weeks ago I was thinking these thoughts about my sleep problems, thinking I should get on it soon. Looks like the current acute ear pain has forced my hand.
Not the happiest thoughts on a birthday, but if I learn to sleep better, this could be one of the better birthdays I have.
